so i start work tomorrow, well training anyway. what a relief!
i’ve been having a ton of anxiety lately and i’m not sure why. idk. i miss my best friend. and i’ve had a lot of time on my hands which is never good for anyone is it? the more i think about things the more self-destructive and critical i am. i really love brett and i really miss him, but i just hate it. i hate how miserable he sounds. i hate that this job didn’t really work out the way that he wanted it to. and i hate that he thinks that he doesn’t deserve to be happy. i wish he’d realize how amazing he is. i know that i don’t konw who he was before and that he was clearly someone completely different from who i know him to be. but the brett i know is my favorite person and the best person i know. he’s thoughtful and sensitive and relentless and i love it. i just wish he would do what makes him happy and not what other people want him to do or do things because he thinks that he owes it to somebody.
blah. blah. blah.
